Monday, February 28, 2011

Fine!

You will be fine!

I am fine!

Everything will be fine!

What if it won't be fine? What if this fine is as good as it gets. I'm sick of people telling me I will be fine. I'm sick of telling people I am fine. I'm sick of hearing everything will be fine and perhaps this is meant to be.

Because right now, it is not fine. I am not fine & I don't think I will ever be completely fine and I cannot see how everything will be completely fine eventually.

My definition of fine right this very second is not this. Not what I've been dealt. Not what I'm dealing with right in this moment.

But deep down - I think everything will be fine. I will be fine. I will be able to say I am fine and mean it. I am already feeling this strength (or perhaps you'd call it resolve) developing, its only a small fire yet but it's there and even though I am scared - I think with time I will be ok eventually.

I have to believe in it.

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