Last Wednesday I found myself with a rare day up my sleeve, working from home, Miss K was in daycare an extra day as I was struggling to meet some major deadlines. Of course with working from home comes the extra benefit of being able to complete some simple tasks such as hanging the washing out.
As I was hanging the clothes out, I had a rare moment of absolute peace come over me. As the sun shone brightly and warmed my skin, I was at ease for the first time in weeks. A sliver of strength and a glimmer of happiness, glowing inside me - a teeny tiny little fire began to burn from the embers.
Have you ever experienced a moment such as this? Knowing that everything will be well with the world – eventually? Finding your peace. Breathing deeply. Exhaling slowly.
Unfortunately it didn’t last. That night something set me off and the unease crept back in, the familiar edgy feeling, heart pounding, anxiety increasing. I can’t pinpoint exactly what put me back on the edge and can only assume it was to do with work (I had officially resigned on Tuesday and can only assume my rising anxiety may have been caused by this) Try as I might I couldn’t reinvent that feeing of peace.
Starting tomorrow I have decided I need to spend 10 minutes sitting out on our back patio (prior to my morning shower) 10 minutes to think, to clear my mind, to find my own peace once more.
This is me - clawing back.