I have learnt… that no one journey is the same & it's possible to feel alone and different.
I have learnt… that it doesn't help knowing someone went through a similar operation (what?? she had stage 2 endo removal… well goodie for HER!)
I have learnt… that contrary to popular belief just because you fell pregnant once - your body will automatically know how the 2nd time around (ha!)
I have learnt… that a lot of those who struggled falling pregnant with number one are now expecting number two
I have learnt… well meaning comments hurt
I have learnt… that pregnancy does indeed CURE endometriosis.
I have learnt… that endometriosis is never really cured, it can and DOES grow back within 5 years
I have learnt… that society apparently dictates that couples WILL procreate and have MORE than ONE child
I wrote these to a friend earlier tonight & thought they were good enough to share here. I've had a relatively good couple of weeks. The blasted bleeding I had (see last entry) lasted EIGHT days! It stopped and then started up again for another day. I was most annoyed. To make matters worse... AF is late. Well not LATE, late. I am technically due today (day 28, later than normal for me as I'm a day 24 average) but it hasn't started. I'm sure she will be here in the next day or two as it's completely out of whack, I am just confused because that mid-cycle bleeding actually went on for so many days (longer than my normal AF) so I'm not sure what is NORMAL anymore.
Of course being 'late' means there is a small, teeny tiny glimmer of hope building and the way I've been feeling today and yesterday (work stresses) means I am gearing for a god-almight CRASH. That scares me.
All this hope is silly. Crazy in fact. We haven't done anything to actually get pregnant this month (if you get my drift, we made a conscious decision to avoid pregnancy as I'm not confident with this lump staying indefinitely) so feeling this hope is completely and utterly ridiculous... am I the only one that does this?
Of course there are NO pregnancy tests in the house...