During my very first consultation with my first Fertility Specialist, I nearly fainted when told I needed an operation & that she was fairly positive I may have endometriosis.
I didn't faint from the thought of having endometriosis - the fainting episode was because the thought of having an operation scared me silly... funny to think that 6 years later I am now facing down my fifth operation... how far I've come in so little time :(
When my specialist told me I had all the signs of endometriosis, I really had no idea what the heck the disease really was, all I knew was that 'such and such had it when they were 18 and that they would struggle to have kids, but ended up having 3 in the time it took me to fall pregnant with one :(
I remember that I used to think that girl just had painful periods and she should just deal with it... it would seem that karma bit me on the arse with that thought... I should NEVER have assumed what I did. And I probably should never have just 'dealt' with the pain I had either ~ hindsights' a bitch!
So I was being told I had this disease. With no clue about what it really was and what it really meant, I went directly to the shops on the way home that day and found my bible on Endometriosis.
Written by Kaz Cooke (who incidentally has a history of severe endo) and Ruth Trickey. I have bought a tonne of books on the disease since receiving my initial diagnosis, some textbook sized, some little like this one. But I continue to gravitate back to this one. It is informative but written with a sense of humour (that I find soothing on my downer days) and it offers information on both natural and medical solutions. I generally pull this book out several times a year, to refer to different sections if things in my 'pipes' don't appear to be flowing the way they should. Like today for instance, day 3 of AF and I am feeling like crap. Usually the pain has subsided by now and I generally only get 2 days at most of bad pain (manageable by nurofen and burning hot heat packs) but this cycle I've had several days of it and though today is nowhere near as bad and hasn't required pain medication to get through the day, it is still rather uncomfortable with niggling waves of cramps and bowel spasms. Let's not even mention the mood I've been in for over a week now - VERY BAD! I am so cranky it's not funny (no really, hubby tried to joke with me yesterday and I nearly screamed at him... seriously!) I'm also so very tired.
Today I pulled out the trusty book again because there is several helpful hints on prepping for surgery and post surgery. I have already kicked in with an exercise regime (Wii Fit) and tomorrow I will be heading to the shops early to buy ingredients for a special tea (lemon balm, peppermint and chamomile) I am hoping that will ease the pain of wind post surgery - last surgery was horrific in that department.
It feels a little scary to be on the final countdown now, I am a bit freaked out, but telling myself there is really nothing to be done now - it is nearly here and I need to do this & get it over with. So bare with me, I am fairly sure I will be upping the entries so I have a record should I EVER need to be going through this shit again in the future (last time, I didn't keep a good record of what I was feeling) I will even try to post from my hospital bed :)