Friday, September 23, 2011

Peace and Belonging

Today the conversation come up twice about having more children and both times, I was able to answer and more importantly talk about it in-depth with one of these people without feeling as though I was on the verge of breaking down in tears. This can only be a good thing! Finally after months of living with this emotional outpouring of pain, it has been blanketed by that small blue BC pill (and though it's not working for me in terms of what it's supposed to be doing with my cycle) I have found that in taking it, I have managed to remove myself and my emotions as a whole and look at the situation in a new & far brighter light. It's probably one of the smartest moves I've managed in the past 12 months. I can see the pros and cons more clearly about having more children. One such con arriving this morning at 5:40am, an early wake up call by Miss 4 :o and her reasoning but the sun is up already! My sleep is ever so precious to me, so is she but at 5:40AM... not so much! I guess you could say I have managed quite successfully, for the interim, in finding a peace that is liveable for me - right now!

It is Friday afternoon and I am with said child (the same on who woke up EARLY this morning & who incidentally refused a day sleep today) We are out in our back yard. She is swinging. I am typing on the laptop. Hubby is mowing the lawn. I am onto my second cup of coffee in the hopes it will see this tired girl through the next few hours. The Mozzies and midgies (aka mosquitos & sandflies to those international readers) are in attack mode and I am being eaten alive, our only real downside to living here. A cool breeze is blowing, the birds are tweeting. The dog is barking and chasing the resident plovers, who in turn dive bomb him yet he remains blissfully unaware of the imminent danger they pose to him. Distant sounds filter through from the highway filter as the mad dash of workers rush home to enjoy the sunny weekend ahead on the Island. I've even stopped and spent time jumping with Miss 4 on the trampoline. Like a kid, raising my arms high (and wishing my bust was a wee bit smaller as it's slowly bounced a little lower toward my belly button) releasing my worries as we jump together with childish abandon. My sinus are aching after all that bouncing but my head is clear.

All is good in my world. I feel a sense of belonging. And peace.

The only thing missing a nice cold beer. Maybe I can convince the husband to do a bottle-o run for me!    



2 comments:

Sarah Mac said...

I felt a bit lighter at the thought of bouncing on the trampoline. It's great to let go once in a while and just be ....

I hope you get your beer xx

Lene said...

My Mr 5 wakes at 5:30am every morning. It's exhausting isn't it?

I know on a Friday afternoon I crave a nice cold beer while cooking dinner. Hubby quite often gets a call on his way home from work to pick some up!