2011 has been the worst for me in terms of dealing with endometriosis. Two operations (one exploratory, one major surgery) several appointments with GP and specialists, weeks of recovery physically and months of recovery mentally... Not to mention the monetary side. ive lost count on how much has been spent on me and my health this year. 12 months of hell. Pain. Scars. Tears.
This morning I happily told my SIL how I've managed to manage my PMT, no periods - hallejula the pill is working.
Tonight I sit here, tears prickling as my body messes with the system and the bleeding starts up once more. 17 measly days of freedom.
I am exhausted. My body is exhausted, tonight I have felt like Ive been hit by a Mack Truck. I am extremely fatigued.
Im at a crossroad. No idea which way forward. No going back. I need to go back and talk to the Doctors again soon which will mean more money, more specialists and more decisions.
Tonight I feel too mentally exhausted to make a decision. Tonight I am wishing it all gone. Tonight Ive had enough of this disease and its ugly tentacles that continue to cause pain and angst even when you cut off its blood supply (so to speak)
Tonight I fucking hate Endometriosis.