Study has re-commenced for 2012 - now I just need to keep up this pace. School started 6 weeks ago… & I've only picked up the books once (twice including today) I half finished a tutorial prior to the Christmas break and then took 4 weeks off as my daughter had finished up at daycare; now I'm unsure where I'm up to, am I ready to tackle the next assessment - am I ready for possible rejection, why can't I just ride high on my previous distinction and hope I get the same for this assessment. Why am I so scared! For the past 6 weeks I've been left feeling like I am floating along in the rapids that is life. Everything around me has been rushing by and I find I don't even have time to pick up the phone to call my best friend - how bad am I? Yet I am still finding time to craft.
It's all about priorities and I can no longer pretend that I am on top of things when clearly I am NOT. So today I have cleaned (half hearted) I have sat and watched my trashy TV episodes (Buffy Season 2) and I multi-tasked while I was at it, drinking coffee - eating chocolate and crocheting. I feel I've done my crafty bit for the day. While my mood and energy levels screamed at me to let them sit and savour more episodes, more chocolate and definitely MORE coffee, I fought it and set myself up at the table and started working on my 2nd tutorial. I am currently reading a few writing quotes which I think are very apt and need to be put here for those times I feel I can't do it, because I can do it. I have my proof that I can do this - I just need to get up off my arse and stop pretending I'm still on holidays!
"Good Writing is hard work" - Snoop (Charles Schulz)
"Every Writer I know has trouble writing" - Joseph Heller
I can do this and I will make it a priority from here on in. It's scary that the one thing that saved me from sinking into oblivion last year is the one thing I have avoided like the plague this year. The signs are all there, I need to write to live.
So the plan is this:
Finish the 2nd tutorial today.
Start prepping the 2nd assessment.
Submit the 2nd assessment during March after I've had time to read it back and decide I am happy with it.
March and April - Work through 3rd tutorial & Assessment
It's entirely do-able… I just need to stick with it and actually do it rather than say 'I'll get to it tomorrow"
As for my online writing groups; I will slowly work my way back to them. I need them to keep the momentum flowing - I know that, I am just struggling to make them a priority in my week.