Monday, December 3, 2012

#reverb12… day 3

Imagine a scenario where you only had one year left to live. What is one thing that you really wish to do that you just haven't had the chance to accomplish yet?

I would like to add: what steps could you take (however small) to ensure that you accomplish this thing in 2013?

Today's prompt required deep thinking and soul searching. 

If you have followed this blog since the beginning you will be thinking - this is EASY. I have desired, wished and wanted but ONE thing for so long that I could easily word this response in 2 words (does A even count as 1 word?) 

A BABY. 

Yet as I thought about it this morning, I came to the realisation that my lone wish once so strong in my mind; is  no longer. For years I have blown out the candles on my cake and I have wished fervently for a baby, hoping that that extra candle each year would have the magic I so dreamed of. From the age of 21 my birthday candle wishes were to have a baby and that lone wish took 9 years to finally come to fruition. Once. Every birthday since, I have wished to have just one more baby.

Next year on my 36th birthday; when those candles come out flickering with promises to behold, I won't be wishing for another baby. I have long since resigned myself to the end of my baby making days. Next year I will wish for Freedom.

Our lives have somehow become caught in a holding pattern. We have been waiting… waiting to be more financially stable, waiting for that longed for new baby, waiting… waiting… waiting. I want Freedom from all the waiting. I want Freedom from the ties that have bound us in this holding pattern.  

Next year I wish to drive off into the sunset. I want to take my little family and travel. I want to see parts of this great big country we live in. I want to document our travels, through words and photos. I want to live in the moment and pretend that we have no responsibilities. I want to run away. 

To do this though, proves almost too hard. It would mean taking the business on the road with us, leaving family behind and being selfish for once in our lives. It won't be easy to execute and that big dream holiday will wait until the dust settles back home. It won't be our dust. Hopefully with small steps forward, like a long weekend here and a week there we will work our way to making this dream a reality. 

2 comments:

Sarah said...

Wishing you freedom and happieness Car x

LittleWhiteDove said...

My dearest Car. I can not find words. But my heart aches for you, and I hope that 2013 brings you the freedom you crave. xxx