Tuesday, April 30, 2013

the history…

This term at School my daughter is learning about history… her history. We have had to create a Shoebox / time Capsule that needed a few small items. 

Of course I left it till the morning it was due and crazily tried plucking out momentous events in her {nearly} 6 short years of life. Had I had left more time, I'm sure details would have been recorded somewhere in my hand written journals. Of which I have many completed.  In the end it was a quick rushed scribble of five little moments in her life thus far.     

In one crushing moment of 'bad motherhood' I could not for the life of me come up with ONE event that happened when she was four. Personally I started this blog when she was four. I battled infertility and raged against the all too familiar regrowth of my endometriosis. I was in and out of hospital and I strived for balance. I struggled to find happiness. Effectively MY history of that year reflected upon her. I regret that year so much. I can't nor more go back and create a single moment; let alone hundreds of moments. And it saddens me. For all that the battle was hard, I am grateful I made the decision when I did. In turn it gave me time to heal. To recover. To start living again.    

PP Day5 Passion












Amazing how one simple task has made me feel so inadequate. I may have journal after journal of words, but when it comes to actually CREATING HISTORY. It feels we are leaving but a teeny tiny footprint on this we call earth. We never have time to travel. When we do go out its usually just to have lunch, have playdates, visit relatives. All this keeps us busy and while every now and then we go somewhere special - I fear we are turning into hermits. Happily ensconced in our lives; content within the nest we have created at home. We need to explore. Experience Adventure. LIVE LIFE.

Last weekend we decided to go OUT. It took us 2 hours to finally settle upon a destination. We chose to travel north and enjoyed a delectable lunch at a surf side cafe and went exploring the rock pools.  

The weekend just gone, we were better organised and headed into the city. Determined to park at New Farm and catch a ferry up the river. The darn ferry was closed at New Farm so we detoured into Southbank and boarded a ferry there (after another delicious lunch) 

It was while we were at Southbank I remembered the markets were on and made my husband walk back and forth trying in vain to find a new journal. 

"Not another journal" he groaned. 

"OH YES. Another" I beamed in response.

Sadly we did not find any handmade journals; which is probably a good thing considering I have about four more ready to fill after my current one. However I may or may not have mentioned to hubby that a paper making kit would be an AWESOME birthday gift… 

All of this has reminded me that while its perfectly okay to research my family history, as well leave my own trail of history in written words; that we also need to live our future history now.    


Anonymous said...

Handmade journals? Gee, wish you knew someone who can do bookbinding...

Anonymous said...
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