Wednesday, September 18, 2013


Day07  Nature














Dear Nanny, 

Today marks four years since you left us. As I lay in bed this morning at the exact same time I received that phone call four years ago, I remembered how I felt that day. Before I even picked up the phone that morning, I knew you were gone. Almost as though you had visited me during the night in my dreams, I understood we had said our goodbyes and it was your time. This morning felt a little surreal being awake at the same time and knowing that no phone call would come. Nor could I just pick up the phone and call you.

And it is that little fact that I miss the most. I miss not being able to ring you when I feel like it. I miss not being able to come visit you and drink tea - black tea, because we all know you were prone to leaving the milk out in a small jug. The same as you did the butter. Even on the hottest of hot days. What was with that?

Today I am wordless. I woke and wanted to write something to acknowledge this day, but words are lost to me. As are you. After four years I needed something grand and ostentatious because I believe you would like that - expect it even.

Yet I sit here, staring at a blank screen and my vocabulary is severely lacking and I yearn to write about how much you meant to me. How much I learnt from being in your life. How much I simply miss you. 

They remain empty words. Hollow, meaningless words that don't sum up the magnitude of how I am feeling today.

So I have decided that I will say nothing at all. I will remember you fondly and I will think of you as I do most days. And I will miss you like crazy; heck I might even go and make myself a black tea in a good china cup for old times sake as I raise my cup to you in memory. And I will crank up Neil and I will remember you and your crazy, gorgeous face. Remember the good times we shared and the laughs we had.   

You will never be forgotten.

Car xxx        


Alleycat said...

Xxx ♥ xxX

LittleWhiteDove said...

<3 xx

Sarah said...

Beautiful tribute Car - its over 30 years since my grandmother died and I still think of her often xx

Unknown said...

Some times no words speak the loudest. Love to you my friend.

Unknown said...

Some times no words speak the loudest. Love to you my friend.