I've sat down to write several times since my last post but found although I had many words to throw at the page, articulating those words into something coherent was severely lacking.
I wrote a funny post about our failed crapper but decided it wasn't suitable material to publish.
Last week I wrote a post about rude people, but again felt uncomfortable posting.
Then there was the small post about unwelcome comments. Which was sent to drafts.
So the words seem to be there - but my content is waning.
What do you do in these situations - do you just hit publish regardless of the content, because it felt like a good story on that day? Or do you let your posts languish in the depths of drafts forever more?
I've been spending some time each day in my journal. It is the kind of writing that isn't judged, it isn't on show for all to see and its completely me.
Perhaps I am being too hard on myself - after the past few weeks and the fight I waged against anxiety, maybe the task of returning to writing is supposed to feel like it doesn't belong anywhere. Perhaps I should just press "send to blog" on one of those posts. I spend far too many waking moments worrying about what others may think, that sometimes I don't allow myself time to have my own viewpoint. This blog is my view. It is my point to discuss how I see life. And isn't that what writing is all about? To write with your own style, your own words as seen through your own eyes? So many questions today and not nearly enough answers - but maybe that's what I need in order to return to freeing myself to be myself.