Monday, May 26, 2014

Facebook… or as I like to call it #fauxbook

A few weeks ago there was a video doing the rounds on Social Media. The message of this video was basically saying "Look up from your phone or the world / time goes by too fast."  The irony being the quantity of shares to my Facebook feed.

A friend shared it and challenged herself to log off Facebook for the entire week. Never wanting to miss a challenge I #challengeaccepted (seriously… that surprises you? How?) I may have shared the hashtag #eekcanIsurvivewithNOFacebookforawholeweek but I was ready to at least give it a try.   

You see Facebook (for me) has its good points - I can catch up with friends I haven't seen for years. School friends who are organising a reunion for later this year are using it as a connection tool - to link as many of us as possible & having finished High School with a HUGE class, it is no small task. (I shall of course keep you guessing on what year this reunion is… #eek!)

Via Facebook I have been seriously blessed to connect with several beautiful girls. From these connections, there has been long weekends away, creation of a quilt group PLUS a small art group. We also meet outside of these groups for coffee dates and play dates for the kids.  These are some of the most gorgeous girls I have ever met and likely have never had the opportunity to meet them had we not met and had mutual interests online.

There is another smaller group who supported me through my secondary infertility battles, though I've only met a few of the girls & we don't talk on a daily basis as much anymore - its good to know they are there if ever I fall.

Of course that's not including several photography groups & art groups.

After viewing this video and accepting the set challenge to go a week without - I logged off my phone on Monday night before I fell asleep. On Tuesday I felt as though my tether had been removed and I moved about my day in a semi daze. I won't share with you how many times I clicked that app on my phone, it was ridiculous! I gave myself half an hour that night to use my iPad to pop over and check in & it felt good. The rest of the week followed in this fashion until Sunday night when the iPad was flat & I mistakenly logged back in on my phone. By then - my challenge was a complete and utter flop and I found myself resorting to checking in again regularly. 

Things I discovered about myself on my {very} small hiatus 

* 6 hours to myself is so much time to spend doing all the things I never get to. 
* My phone battery is capable of lasting longer - simply by logging out.
* I use Facebook far more than I cared to admit.  

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Then there is the other side of Fauxbook. What once was a place to share family pictures and funny things has slowly over time become MORE. I'm not sure how it wall works and it shits me that I am able to read comments my friends make on things they are interested in. If they like something - it gets fed through to MY wall. They are only small things & I figure the comments I make upon Endometriosis pages are also shared to their feeds & likely I am driving them crazy too!   

What is starting to get to me is the attitudes of people.

My mum always told me "If you can't say something nice - then don't say anything at all"

Each day I would log on and if I happened to read the comments on something of interest - I was horrified to see more often than not, arguments erupting and resulting in disgusting comments hurled toward each other. People sharing memes that insult other people (but it makes THEM feel better, so hey why not share?) its even gotten to the point that I see people arguing on a police update in which someone has passed away - which aside from the absolute poor taste of said people, really is it necessary?

My husband and I have been discussing this darker side of Facebook of late and he has been saying - for months now - that it can't possibly be good for us. I have to admit I have been feeling the same. Over the weekend he finally deactivated his account and already I can see the difference in him. He seems happier and is using Instagram and Twitter simply because he can control his feeds. Except today Facebook messages him "welcome back - we've missed you"  

My best friend ditched her account several months ago and I can see her happiness shining too. As she said to me the other day - if someone wants to be her "friend" then they should accept that she is turning old School and she WILL pick up the phone and ring them. Talking. Face to Face. The way it was done back in my day {showing my age now :P }

My hubby suggested that I ditch it & while I can see so many benefits - I would really, really miss those friendships I have developed over the years. So for now I am dialling back. I've decided to make my Facebook time Constructive rather than Wasted time. I will start growing a thicker skin & try really super hard not to take things to heart (or out of context.) I'm censoring what I *want* to see by hiding certain posts. The biggest change I am making is to stop reading comments on police updates etc. For the interim, I have also decided to log off the app on my phone. I will allow time each night to log on & say hi to friends. I'm not sure how long I will last but I am determined to try my best.       

How do you feel about Facebook? 

1 comment:

Little White Dove said...

I agree, and I'm trying to improve my non-Facebook ratio this week... though I often find myself reaching for other things instead.

I'm not sure I want to pull the plug completely though, online friendships ARE real friendships, and some of the people I've become friends with online (and gotten to know better) are nowq some of my best friends and people I "chat" to daily. As for random feed scrolling, yeah, I can take it or leave it, especially with the mess feeds are these days.

(and golden rule of interwebs, never EVER read the comments!)