Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Negative vs Positive

My throat started a familiar ache today, my nose blocked and eyes prickled as though they'd been stuck in a bucket of sand. Muttering profanities as I pushed through the long day, I said to my partner "I hope I'm not getting sick - I feel I'm perpetually sick"

It honestly feels that way at times. When you have womanly issues it isn't just a few days each month. Mine is nearing two weeks a month when I feel poorly and am not myself. Even my dear hubby has commented on this phenomenon, usually at a distance and not during that first fun-filled week of screaming banshee style PMT angers. Add to that a 3.5 week cycle (if I'm lucky) and it makes for a very short week and a bit of feeling "well"

After a weekend away (on a GOOD week) I mentioned my issues to a friend who knew all too well how it goes. The brief conversation has been ringing in my head for the past week or so and its made me consider the negative vs positive. I am starting to feel as though I am focusing all my energies on the negative side effects. 

On my online support group, the morning round up question - how are we all today? Well today I feel like Crap.

Usually it is honestly related to a particular issue - hormone / sinus headaches. Aches. Pains. Cramps. PMT. Fatigue. I say how I'm feeling and for the most part I do push through my days. I continue to work / study / rush to the school and back for pick ups and drop offs, I do the sports days with heat packs under my jumper, and I try valiantly to stay on top of the housework. Then there are days like today with snap changes in the weather (hot, cold, hot, cold) and I feel I've pushed myself too far. I start to develop a lurgy and then I'm down for the count. It is a very fine balancing act and I'm a bit sick of it all. 

I stop to consider all these ailments and I wonder if I'm not bordering on being a hypochondriac? Which I'm not - truly I'm not - but I can't help but feel that with such a negative approach I've adopted toward each issue - what must others think of me? Today I stop to think that I must stop this negative. When its really bad - I will write it down in big thick letters in my journal. I won't broadcast it to all and sundry and then I will go about my day, pushing through as I am accustomed to. From this day forward I vow to steer toward the positive side effects. To unleash the negative hold around my neck and let it go!

(and for the record - I refuse to sing that tune, you know the one that is now stuck in your head… let it go, let it go… because it is currently on repeat in my house. Every. Single. Day. The movie AND the music. Get out of my head!!!)   

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