Sunday, May 25, 2014

Signs of Ageing…


#1 - discovering hundreds of SILVER streaks in your hair, 4 hours before you are due to walk out the door. TO A WEDDING!
Solution: spend an hour painstakingly and oh so SLOWLY applying a hair colour…

(lest we end up with a disaster like last home dyed hair)

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#2 - Forgetting to have lunch before a 2:30 ceremony. Oh Hai there first beer of the day…
Solution: look waveringly unstable on your bar chair and have your friends hubby buy you a packet of salt 'n vinegar chips 

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#3 - Discovering wrinkles you hadn't seen before in the fluro light of the golf club bathroom.
Solution: slug back another beer, and don't use the bathroom again that night.

{insert discriminating photo here >>> yeah - like I was gonna fall for that trick!} 


#4 - Dancing all night in heels that are far too high for you to cope with.
Solution: drink more beer, it numbs the pain of the feeling that your feet have become stars in an episode of fringe where there are no bones left in there)

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#5 - Discovering you are bleeding (from those darn shoes) AFTER you head home for the night.
Solution: pay more attention to pain on said feet and apply the bandaid you put in your purse for that specific purpose! 

#6 - Finding a blister the next morning
Solution: hide those darn shoes until the next wedding

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#7 - Shedding a tear during the ceremony after realising you are old enough to now start attending the second round of weddings. #eeek our nieces and nephews will be next!
Solution: drink another beer & pretend those tears are because of your shoes. 

#8 - Realising you racked up only 5 hours sleep and even though you stayed in bed for a further 3 hours, you are more tired than when you came home with a newborn. 
Solution: Don't have another baby!!!

#9 - Taking (shaky) drunken selfies and being told you are doing it wrong - by the young' uns….
Solution: No solution but perhaps stay away from Facebook lest you scare your friends with puckered lips & kiss me lollies. (I did NOT do anything of the sort!!!)

{yeah - see point 3…like I was gonna fall for that again!} 

#10 - Drinking copious amounts of coffee to stay awake, large quantities of water to re-hydrate the body and walking around the shops with raccoon eyes.
Solution: Buy makeup remover before the next wedding. Drink more water the day of. Limit your beer intake. And perhaps EAT a little lunch before hand!!! 

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Even though I swore to myself on my birthday last week that it was just another number to add to a growing pile, this weekend has proved beyond a shadow of doubt - I am approaching middle age and even though I still feel "young" it takes me so much longer to bounce back. *yawn* excuse me while I go curl up on the lounge under a crocheted rug and drink my cuppa tea and watch all these young-uns take the reigns of life!                     


Little White Dove said...

Can *I* provide the incriminating selfies? No? Bummer dude...

AJ said...

Nice legs *wolf whistle*