Today has been difficult - I always remember your birthday, but it wasn't until two days ago that I made the connection that today would have been your 90th.
I had the day planned meticulously - you see I went a little crazy and had a moment of *aha* and decided that rather than be sad and mope over the next month (the days between your birthday and anniversary are always a little rough on me) instead I would spend the days wisely and write. Write all the words that are missing from your story. A variation on NaNoWriMo - this one entitled NanNyWriMo! I didn't plan on a stuff up yesterday & engagements I had in the diary for today.
Nor did I factor in the raging hormone / sinus related headache that nearly tied me to the couch for the remainder of the day. Instead I popped some painkillers, I rushed into my errands and groceries and came home and stared at one blank screen.
Finally this afternoon I found the words. All 1686 of them to add a little backstory to my novel. I wrote a half decent synopsis which needs to be submitted THIS week. And I let the tears run.
I miss you like crazy - it feels like only yesterday we dragged you off to see Neil Diamond for your 80th. How chuffed you were that your grand-daughter was willing to take you to see your favourite singer. How my friends dad who was also there called you Mrs xxx. How you stopped the crossing inspector and asked if Neil himself was sitting in that fancy smancy car waiting to get through! How you insisted you had to wear thongs because of your gout; which had nothing to do with your love of seafood and beer.
Five years later we celebrated your 85th birthday in hospital. The one place you never wanted to return to - the very place you last closed your eyes on this world and opened them in another time, another home. A home that I hope has your beloved and your long missed son.
Tonight I sit here and sink back my one guinness. I remember all those birthdays - the crazy ones and the normal. I remember how you had my back and I yours. I remember your cheekiness and your love of music.
I remember you. And I miss you. Every day - but most of all today. You were everything. And Yes I really do believe Neil did write this one - just for you xxx
To my very own Cracklin' Rosie ~ Happy 90th Birthday!