Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Write On Wednesday ~ Detective Dialogue

Write on Wednesday is back again... This week is Detective Dialogue. In a nutshell we needed to overhear a conversation (without them knowing) & incorporate it into a short story (well this is what I think we were supposed to do... but hey there are NO rules. Love that about this little weekly challenge) I am going one step further and trying to relate my stories back to real life and this blog... I'm not sure I succeeded in this & I seriously considered NOT hitting publish for this this little story. But here goes nothing! 
I should also note for the record that I was completely stuck for conversational ideas this week, I didn't have the time to go to the local cafe. So you are stuck with a one sided conversation between my 4 year old and husband. Enjoy xxx


A lazy Monday afternoon in this household and I had taken myself back to bed after experiencing 48 hours of horrible period pain (my first AF post op was wreaking havoc on my raw aching insides) and as I lay, nose buried in a really good book, the sound of my daughters voice filtered through the open window.

“You know I farted on you, didn’t I dad” she commented rather loudly in the still of the afternoon.

A quiet pause was had from my husband before he muttered something unintelligible to my naked ear. Personally I like to imagine in my head that he was whispering something suitable, along the lines of “we don’t use that word in this house baby” OR “you should say I Fluffed” OR even “I wouldn’t have popped off on you, my dear sweet baby girl”

Truthfully though, it was more than likely he was just murmuring for her to “keep your voice down so the neighbours can’t hear you say such {funny} things." A four year olds voice has an echo that can be heard several houses away, especially when they are on to something exciting and a wee bit naughty. 

After a lengthy pause, she pipes up again {this time slightly louder, which leads me to believe it was the latter rather than the former that was muttered to her}

“And then you farted on me, hey dad?” she exclaims! 

Although I have no idea what the conversation was about or where it was headed for that matter, as the sounds of their conversation slowly drifted away ~ I giggled to myself thinking how far personally, I have come. Once upon a time (not too many years ago) I would have been down right embarrassed if I let off a fart in front of my friends (& don’t get me started on letting fluffy off the chain in front of a new boyfriend – that was just plain mortifying) but I'm pleased to report, I have evolved. After living with the same man for more than 13 years, it has totally erased any mortification I once may of felt.

“Better out than in” my husband always says. Or was that Shrek that said that? Either or, they are pretty much one in the same. Except for the green skin. And the whole married to an ogre caper.   

And if I did have any residual qualms about letting one go, my last operation put paid to that – let’s just say, it was a major relief to fart afterward. An absolute & utter relief!!!  I wonder why something so natural is seen as something so darn embarrassing in some circles.

But have you heard??? Real Ladies don’t fart! 

What? Oh crap… someone forgot to give me that memo! 


InkPaperPen said...

I really like your take on this Car - You didn't have to incorporate the dialogue into a short story but I love that you have chosen to do so. I think it is important that we individualize the exercises. I hope that in this way we can explore our creativity as much as possible! This is a very funny piece. The dialogue is natural and you have captured the tone of the conversation. Your husband feeling uncomfortable. Your daughter not at all. Plus, you have given a reason to the post - a personal take on a private subject! I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for joining in! Gill xo

Sarah said...

Haha, that's a great story. Men and children, you cant take them anywhere (and it's not even safe to put them together at home!).

Janelle said...

Hilarious! I love your take on the exercise, it brought it to life. My husband also has a similar saying - "Better an empty house than a bad tenant".

Lene said...

I love this! So, so funny! I really like how you've turned it into a lovely little story. A joy to read.

Anonymous said...

I just love the things kids say. And yes, my attitude towards farting has evolved since I've had kids, too.

Anonymous said...

You've got to take the bad with the good, no? This made me laugh. You've turned this into a neat, entertaining blog post. I'd love to have heard how your partner justified the farting caper to your daughter ...

Kim H said...

LOL!! That was a great post. I love listening into convos between adults and kids. Kids are so out there and honest. No holding back.

Lovely to be visiting via Ink Paper Pen:)

E. said...

Gotta love the fart talk. What is it that appeals so much to kids? And men for that matter too!