Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Diary of a (failing) NaNoWriMo - day 16

Well... life and the month seems to have gotten away from me. This challenge has thoroughly whipped my backside (though quietly between how busy my last week has been as well as reaching the 10K milestone, I'm partly to blame ;)
I have not written since last Tuesday. Slack. Slack. Slack.

I knew last week would be difficult as I had booked a 3 day retreat in the mountains and while I had every intention to steal away and write to my hearts content while I was there, the lure of constant sewing grabbed me instead. I needed that refreshment and break in routine, but boy am I finding it hard to get back into it this week. My house feels more cluttered as I am only half unpacked. I'm trying to squeeze a million projects into one room & the junk room seems to have swelled in size since my return. And I'm tired.

My story while it was writing itself without thought, feels too stuffed. I took the approach this month of NaNoWriMo to pick relevant sections and write my daily word count on them. Daily word count is not a problem, but it feels like too much padding is being created? I don't know. I know I still need to learn more about characterisations and writing in conversations which is coming up in my course, but I won't get to them until well after Christmas (heck I haven't even touched my course in weeks, and can't see myself doing so with Christmas rapidly approaching PLUS daycare days coming to an end) With my conversation flow, every line seems to incorporate "he said" "she said" *sigh* I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this disjointed and saddened by my lack-lustre attempt. I probably didn't plan it as much as I should have and I know all this I'm feeling is probably hump day blues and knowing I'm now days and days behind the word count I should be at right now.

Is it just me or is November a shit of a month to be attempting this task? It's just so darn close to Christmas and I want to create and get into the spirit of Christmas without burning myself out. But I also want to write my book.

One thing I have learned in my few short weeks into this challenge is that in theory this NaNoWriMo is a great challenge, it's all about getting you writing. Actually sitting down and writing that book that's in your head. What is not so great about it is tying to fit it in and around family and life. One busy day can throw you out and then you are behind and that sort of stress does my head in (guess it's a good thing I am debriefing with my shrink tomorrow hey?) for now, I've decided to just continue writing my story. It matters not if I only write 200 words a day, as long as I aim for something. At the end of the day, that's what it's all about right? Writing that story. Word count or no.  

My health hasn't been the best over the past month either. If you've been following my story, my endo is wreaking havoc on my body and constant spotting day in, day out has left me feeling drained and oh so tired. I am off to the Dr again next week to try and find some answer and relief. I really don't want to go down the path of iron tablets if I don't have to, but my caffeine intake is steadily increasing daily and that in turn is bad for the endo too. So it's a no win situation :(

So that's where I'm at right now. It's difficult, but I'm going to keep soldiering on, just without the added pressure of myself. See you on the flipside!


Sarah said...

Ok, no pep talk from me or you might just want to punch me (feel free to if it would help though;).

Big hugs Car. I'll be waiting on the flip side.

(was going to say something along the lines of it only being a toss away or some such rubbish but it kept coming out all wrong:) x

Lillie McFerrin said...

You're right; as long as you're writing that's what matters. Life gets in the way sometimes.

I can relate to being tired and not feeling like doing a thing! I have Multiple Sclerosis and some days it simply won't let me do the things I would like to.