Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Dear Stupid World...

It you ok? Not me.

Special mention to the lady at the coffee shop, when I ask that you make sure today's coffee is WITHOUT caramel because my last two purchased HAD caramel in them - JUST AGREE WITH ME - 'kay? It would be so much safer for YOU. Don't try and argue the point that if I ordered a cappuccino, that's what I'd get "why would they add caramel to a plain cappuccino" why indeed? Well guess what honey - THEY ADDED IT! I didn't like it. Thought I'd just mention it. Just agree with the angry & extremely hormonal woman on the other end of the counter and make sure as heck I don't get any trace of caramel in today's coffee!

Spotlight. Fix your bleeping' signage. If there is a sign up saying threads are $3.79 I don't expect that I will end up paying $5.99 at the counter :o here's an idea, if your signage is correct you won't have an extremely hormonal lady at the counter having a heart attack (could have been a panic attack) over how much she's just spent on embroidery threads!

To the lady in the car park... ONE WAY means ONE WAY. Don't try and drive the other way and then stare me down because I nearly crash into your ugly car. Get a carpark and go book an appointment with the eye doctor! Thank you from the screaming banshee lady in the blue car (that nearly ran you down)

To the Policemen at the speed checks... you have NO idea how lucky you were you didn't pull me over today (could be that I was sticking to the speed limit) anyhow you rest easy tonight that you didn't end up with a crazy hormonal bitch on the receiving end of your ticket!

And lastly to the idiot that flew out onto the roundabout in the left lane when CLEARLY I needed that lane - you are an idiot. I'm including you in the list because you then decided that you wanted to get OFF the Island and needed the RIGHT lane. Hence cutting me off when if you had of waited (impatient so & so) I would have been able to SAFELY merge into the LEFT giving you full access to the RIGHT. Yes that was my middle finger you see in your rear vision mirror!

To the council / main roads, I note that YET another day goes by and the grassy median strip remains at window level of my car. Failing going out and buying myself a bigger car (like F250) or driving our ride-on mower up and doing it myself - get your crews out to clean it up. Crazy mad lady having anxiety because I can't see what's coming the other way.

To my husband (who neglected to buy me chocolates for Valentines Day - HELLO? Hormonal bloody woman in the house - where's me *flippin'* chocolate... lucky for you, I went to the shops today and bought my own box. We won't mention that this is my 2nd box for the month ;) why do you wait till I get my heart set on a new car then tell me you aren't convinced. *sigh* but I LIKE that car. *stamps foot* (note: it is a black 4WD and would have come in handy earlier today during the carpark and later roundabout incidents)  

See it's totally NOT ME! Everyone else is completely crazy.  

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Absolutely Car - it IS them and not you! (ain't gonna catch me arguing with the mad homonal lady ;) x