Friday, July 20, 2012

Tired of PMT...

I know my hubby gets real tired of my PMT moments (or should I say DAYS!) the constant sniping toward him, the girl, the dog, the car, the house, pretty much anybody who is stupid enough to get in my way.

I've heard people say just control it - it can't be that bad… perhaps they are the lucky ones that have never suffered from it.

Then there are those who say you shouldn't use it as an excuse for being in a bad mood. Suck it up princess. 

I know this because I once thought it (gawd, I'd NEVER try telling a woman in the depths of PMT that though!!! I value my LIFE!)

When I was on the pill years and years ago now, I didn't get any form of PMT. I was never snappy and though my body had it's own issues my hormones remained level. Then I went off the pill and started trying for a baby. Two and a half LONG years of no hormones balancing my body and my moods went haywire. At first I couldn't understand why I was so tired. Lacked motivation. Snappy for no particular reason and using the excuse "it's because I'm tired" had no bearing. As the months went by, I tracked my cycle and I really understood my body in and out. I knew that on Day 19 the symptoms of PMT would start. Snappiness. Tiredness. Cranky. Teary. Exhausted. I also knew that AF would arrive Day 24. It made trying for a baby that much harder because I would just 'know' by day 19 that it was all over red-rover for another month. Eventually after 30 odd cycles I stopped counting. I couldn't be arsed tracking something that was so futile.

Post baby, my cycles pretty much picked up where they left off - a mere WEEK after I had the 6 week postpartum bleeding! IF I was lucky I would have a 25 or maybe even 27 day cycle but I nearly ALWAYS had a 5 day window of PMT.

Five years later, I've managed to really screw up my body by adding a different pill. Taken continuously for 6 months and we all know that it didn't work, but something else happened… it's prompted my body to get back into a more normal cycle. It was bumping it up closer to that elusive 28 days. Exactly a year after the operation I had all the PMT symptoms from Day 19… then no AF. It went AWOL and FINALLY arrived on day 31. 12 days of PMT symptoms. 12 days of slight cramping and expecting it to arrive any moment. 12 days of Hormone spikes and bad moods. 12 days of fatigue. Lack of motivation. It was a horrible 12 days for all.

This month has done exactly the same. I'm currently day 32 and still waiting for AF to arrive in all her glory. I have been suffering with severe PMT since Day 19. I've been expecting her  since last Wednesday (& no I'm not Pregnant, I ruled that out this morning). 

I am tired of it. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being on tenterhooks because I know that when she arrives so too the pain. I'm tired of snapping everyones' heads off. I'm tired of constantly apologising for being such a bitch to live with. I'm tired of feeling like I need a big cry though the tears won't come.

Usually it's the men who complain about PMT, but here I am a woman suffering through her 13th day of severe PMT and I am openly admitting I flippin' HATE PMT. 

1 comment:

~LilOlFrankie~ said...

I'm sorry Car xxx I don't have anything profound or enlightening to say, but i'm sorry you have to go through this :o(