Saturday, January 11, 2014

Larger than Life itself!

After four years, I sometimes find myself wondering if my late Nan really was larger than life itself. Or have I conjured an image to immortalise her bigger than she really was within my mind?

Isn't it funny how the years go by and with it the memories get a little fuzzy around the edges. The image of what you thought you remember fades like an old photograph.

You dream of what she once was and inside your mind she is this crazy lady, shades of YOU today mingling with the HER of yesterday.  Where does one end and the other begin. Where do I leave my crazy at the door and open the door to her line of crazy?

Today I found that door.

All those images, thoughts, memories and craziness were indeed true. Amongst a pile of fabric I was sorting I stumbled across two lone letters addressed to me.  

The first is addressed to "my sweet little car, of all my world" the letter itself filled with every day news from her previous week - a "stone motherless last" at a hand of cards and at the end she asks me about a song and I quote "Did you ever hear it. Well if not I will sing it for you. Wacko!! HAY? Something to look forward to. Bet you can't wait"     

She was such a card that woman! 

The second letter I opened and I smiled and nearly cried at the same time. She wrote the first paragraph in backhand.

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She wrote "Dear Car - Just a page of backhand to see if you remember it" 

This letter was signed "Nanning ton"

It amazes how one little lady could have seemed to big in personality. She really was a beautiful soul - if a little crazy (& I'm guessing now you know where I get it from!) I am so super glad that I thought to keep ALL of her letters she sent me. While the letters I hold will never replace the larger than life woman she once was, it feels good to have a small piece of her essence to remind me.  

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Another High

I mentioned toward the end of November that I had been busy writing and re-writing and assessment for my Creative Writing Course. I could do no more for the piece and knowing time was pressing prior to Christmas close down - I sent it off with trepidation. It normally takes 3 week turn around and I knew I was cutting it fine with Christmas looming and I checked and re-checked my emails eagerly awaiting my results. 

A few days prior to Christmas I received an email to say the collage was closed for the holidays and still no result. I faced a holiday season of unknowing and uncertainty. For suddenly all the issues while writing my initial piece buzzed around my mind. What if it sucked. What if I bombed. Trying to tell myself that a CREDIT would be sufficient - I've always said a Pass will be enough. I pushed those feelings of unease aside and enjoyed a well deserved break away from the computer and away from the books. 

The day after the college re-opened an email FINALLY arrived and with it my marks. 

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It would appear I had all that worry over NOTHING! I must say this has built my confidence levels up a notch and with the arrival of a new badge (pictured below) my dreams of becoming a real bona fida author feel as though they are nearly within my grasp.   

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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Entering 2014!

As the clock ticked over and closed the book on 2013; I snored gently in bed, snuggled in my doona in an air-conditioned room, blissfully unaware that another number was now in force.

Casting aside previous years where I diligently revisited old goals and set new ones on the eve of the new year. This year I ignored it all - I kept repeating one small word which has become my word for 2014... FOCUS.

In 2014 I need to FOCUS all my energies on my studies. I have 7 assignments to complete in 8 months (creative writing) as well as 8 photography assignments to finish! It will be a very busy first half of the year. Tomorrow kicks off my return to writing. I've taken time off to get over the silly season and I've written nothing except for a few mindless entries in my daily journal.

I am scared that the 400 words I aim to write as the sun rises tomorrow morning will allude me, but I am ready to squeeze them out. I am ready to write 5 days a week for as long as it takes. 

I stare at my desk beside me - the draw isn't closing properly and I feel inundated with *stuff* my first task for the week ahead will be to sort through the paperwork shoved haphazardly in this tray! My parents (absolute gems) managed to find me some family history but in the crazy of Christmas it got thrown into the tray to be sorted and now I'm faced with a huge mess.    

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I want to spend more time researching the family tree this year, there are elderly relatives I intend on visiting and I think I may bite the bullet and buy an Ancestry subscription. This new pile is mainly information on my fathers fathers side of the family and is traced back to the 1500's. Whereas the side I am writing about I've only managed to get back to the early 1800's. I can foresee a day later this month collating what information I have collected and slowly adding to it over the coming years. 

This year I am planning to spend MORE time on my blogs and LESS time on Facebook. I am hoping "Facebook Free Friday" and "Screen Free Sunday" (yes I realise the irony of blogging on a Sunday) will free up my time to be more creative.   

I have to admit it feels weird to be using FOCUS as my word and yet I dot feel like I am focused on achieving any ONE goal for the year ahead. Maybe this will be the year I manage to harness the swirling mess that is my mind and weave it into something fabulous. I can only dream right?